prolixfootle: (footleloop)
[personal profile] prolixfootle
Some things never change, it seems. And some things, apparently, only change for the worse. Not absolutely sure which it is, but I have a vague foreboding…

For Halloween this year, I’ll be dressing up as an injured party and attending a festive day-long revelry of legal chicanery. This is punching a number of my buttons, and upping the anxiety quotient exponentially.

Of course, this could mean that events will be speedily concluded… but more likely, according to the counsel collie, is that my name and reputation will be thoroughly sullied, poor faith bargaining will be evidenced, and this will drag on. And on. AND ON.

Another fun trip is scheduled for November 7th, when I present myself for another cardioversion. Since changes is medication and the initial cardioversion were so effective, I’m sure this one will also be… something...

I’m also doing things I never thought I would do, which is seriously messing with my sense of self-worth and societal value. So three cheers for new adventures.

Other things are also a bit depressing.

Y’know, I was going to go into details, and write a long and wordy piece of dreck, but I am Just. Too. Tired. Besides, I’ve never been a keen proponent of the ‘misery loves company’ maxim. I thought seriously about just deleting this tripe, but, eh, what the hell.

I hope things are really going well with all four of you who might read this, and that you’re thoroughly enjoying this non-global-warming-related unusually balmy fall weather.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-10-30 02:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You're right, it could always be worse, but that doesn't change the fact that it still sucks.

But first, a complaint. If I can sit here writing long and wordy pieces of dreck, then you bloody well can, too. And if it's any comfort, sitting back and trying to organise the contents of my recent entries has forced me both to remember how trying the time was and provided a laundry list of my mistakes and failings, but it's also a vivid reminder of what I did right.

And from what I know of this, you're in the right.

In my days in the military, we had a term called "Bunkered Up" which meant that you or your opponent had fortified his position with various strong points. To remove such an opponent is always costly on your part, because he has the high ground, good fields of view, and strong fortification. You were usually trying to remove someone who had no intention whatsoever of ceding the ground he'd claimed as his, uphill, where he was nicely-rested and hard to hurt. Even one man in such a fortification would take ten to move.

There's also nothing you can do about the glacial pace of things, and worrying isn't going to help your health any. So perhaps you take what's left of the Autumn, walk your land with your dog, and just take in the colours when you're on your own. Breathe the good air, and dream your wonderful dreams. As long as you yet live, you win. Eat. Drink a beer. Breathe. You will outlast these tough times, brother, I promise. Let go of the things you can't change and focus on the things you can. Life is sweetest at its least complicated.

Remember that. Rest and Bunker up.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-10-31 11:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you very much for your words of support and encouragement.

Your stories are definitely not dreck, my friend. I hope that, after these current fiascoes are past, I can tap the same courage you have shown to go back and revisit the process with a critical and somewhat unbiased eye. Not sure I'll be able to work up the nerve, though.

As far as Bunkering up, I've had to do that for over fifty years now... ;)

Seriously though, I've done as much as I can in that arena... but, as I'm sure you know, when vital resources are suddenly and unexpected withdrawn, especially after a lengthy period of unforeseen expenditures, there's not much you can do but to jump in a hole, pull a blanket over your head, and cower in the cold and dark. Which is where I am now.

(no subject)

Date: 2016-10-30 04:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Good to hear from you!

I hope things get better.

And what [ profile] runewise said, particularly the last paragraph

(no subject)

Date: 2016-10-31 10:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks. I'm glad to see that things seem to be going better for you.
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