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I’ve been thinking, much to my chagrin, about religion. )
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Last week, I was thinking of writing something charming and humorous – perhaps something like the day-in-the-life thing that [livejournal.com profile] morganaus suggested.

However, last Thursday changed all that… )
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[livejournal.com profile] morganaus has asked that I write about the… lifestyle… of the Rural Wastelands, such as it is. )
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It has been suggested that I read the dictionary to you (you can thank [livejournal.com profile] lostdog). The problem is, which dictionary should I read? You see, I am a bit of a dictionary aficionado. I love obscure, archaic and underutilized verbiage. In fact, it’s due to a rather delightful dictionary that I initially stumbled upon LiveJournal

Firstly, let me say that yes, I have actually read dictionaries before. For fun. If that doesn’t put me in the Geek pantheon somewhere, I don’t know what will.

I also collect dictionaries (I have an antique Funk and Wagnall’s that I inherited, a circa 1970’s Webster’s New Collegiate, as well as interesting gems like Forgotten English).

In addition to collecting physical dictionaries I also collect online dictionaries. I must have at least a score of them bookmarked at home, everything from Merriam Webster Online to The Klingon Dictionary. My favorite, however, remains the purview of the indomitable Dr. [livejournal.com profile] forthright: The Prontistery.

One of the first that I stumbled upon during my tenuous first steps into the wild and wooly world of the internet, it is chock-a-block with interesting words to satisfy the most ardent logophile. But it’s not only a dictionary. It also houses glossaries, lists, essays and, of more that passing interest to me, A Loquacious Location of Lipograms which includes an invitation to submit your own version of this stylized construct (which I did, of course, and which you can read here).

As I was wont to do lo those many years ago, I lurked, checking for updates and newly added definitions. Then one day I spotted a new link: the soon-to-be-doctor Forthright had acquired a LiveJournal!

And so I lurked some more (actually, checking the dates, It seems I lurked for an inordinate amount of time… over eight months!). During that time I was ‘introduced’ to all manner of interesting people: the cerebral [livejournal.com profile] f00dave and his gorgeous, belly-dancing spouse [livejournal.com profile] shanmonster, the captivating Mrs. Forthright (better known as [livejournal.com profile] curtana), the enchanting [livejournal.com profile] longpig, the ‘ultra-hoopy frood’ [livejournal.com profile] fearsclave. Finally, I gave in to temptation and in accordance with prophecy, sealed the doom of all humanity started my own journal.

From there the insanity spiraled out of control, until we arrive at what you see today. The insanity is directly attributable to certain other specific individuals, but I shan’t point any virtual fingers – at least not today…

OK, maybe just one: [livejournal.com profile] morganaus, instigator and model of friendfic slash.

All of which begs the original question: Which dictionary shall I read?
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It seems to me that, behind all the rhetoric and drum beating, there are two very simple and basic reasons that Mr. GW is pushing this war: to spur the economy and to ensure reelection. Now I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no history buff. I can’t cite chapter and verse or quote endless statistics, but if I remember correctly (always a big if) wars (at least those that are being won) boost the economy. In case you hadn’t noticed the economy is currently lagging. A better economy, in turn, translates into a better approval rating for ol’ GW. Also, I believe, we as a people tend not to change horses in mid-war. If the war is going well, then hey, another for years easy! And since he couldn’t put the Bin in the trash, then he needs *another* one to cover up that fiasco. “Encore for Mr. KurdsAway…”

So go, be patriotic, bang the drums, fight the War on ‘Tewwah”. Just realize that its all to help the Non-elected President keep his gig in 2004…

Now I think I’ll sit here and wait for the Gesta…er…Homeland Security to show up.
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