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I've been having some really weird and vivid dreams of late. Pseudo-realism. My darling ex-wife says it’s my higher consciousness trying to communicate.
First I dreamt that my darling ex-wife’s boss died of a brain embolism while on vacation. There was the expected turmoil and drama while they tried to decide who would replace her.
Then I dreamt that a local school was having a yardage sale. I went, and met several people from work.. I remember getting a hug for Joyce-Joyce-The-People’s Choice.
I also dreamt that I was working for President Obama, and was being prepped for a televised appearance on Meet The Press or some such program. I was being quizzed to make sure I was up on all of the questions likely to be asked.
Then last night I was visited by my grandmother. She stopped by to tell me she felt that my father should be places in a nursing home. To be frank, his condition isn’t improving – he’s not inclined to work at it, nor is he being encouraged to work at it. He basically sits in his lift chair all day and watches TV. He’s even taken to demanding assistance with his toilette. Yes, that toilette. And Mom isn’t any better, totally ignoring doctor’s orders to stay off of her sprained ankle to cater to my father. We offered to get her some in-home help, but no; she’d rather be the martyr.
I’m feeling more and more disconnected and isolated – totally my own fault, but I’m damned if I know how to remedy it. I’ve never been good at the whole socializing thing. Just never learned the knack. And now that I have a hideout, I have even less inclination to learn. I prefer to joke about becoming the weird old guy in the neighborhood of which all the kids are afraid and all the adults think is crazy. But it’s really not much of a joke. If I didn’t have to go to work, I doubt I leave the house very often. Although I wish I had someone. Loneliness sucks. But again, I’ve never learned how to do meet people. I suppose I’m just meant to be a hermit.
Some things – or in my case, most things – never change. Still trying to figure out that question. It occupies a good deal of my thoughts. I cannot figure out why its considered selfish. Well, in certain circumstances I suppose – if you’re shirking obligations to others, but if you’re isolated and unattached? Dunno.
First I dreamt that my darling ex-wife’s boss died of a brain embolism while on vacation. There was the expected turmoil and drama while they tried to decide who would replace her.
Then I dreamt that a local school was having a yardage sale. I went, and met several people from work.. I remember getting a hug for Joyce-Joyce-The-People’s Choice.
I also dreamt that I was working for President Obama, and was being prepped for a televised appearance on Meet The Press or some such program. I was being quizzed to make sure I was up on all of the questions likely to be asked.
Then last night I was visited by my grandmother. She stopped by to tell me she felt that my father should be places in a nursing home. To be frank, his condition isn’t improving – he’s not inclined to work at it, nor is he being encouraged to work at it. He basically sits in his lift chair all day and watches TV. He’s even taken to demanding assistance with his toilette. Yes, that toilette. And Mom isn’t any better, totally ignoring doctor’s orders to stay off of her sprained ankle to cater to my father. We offered to get her some in-home help, but no; she’d rather be the martyr.
I’m feeling more and more disconnected and isolated – totally my own fault, but I’m damned if I know how to remedy it. I’ve never been good at the whole socializing thing. Just never learned the knack. And now that I have a hideout, I have even less inclination to learn. I prefer to joke about becoming the weird old guy in the neighborhood of which all the kids are afraid and all the adults think is crazy. But it’s really not much of a joke. If I didn’t have to go to work, I doubt I leave the house very often. Although I wish I had someone. Loneliness sucks. But again, I’ve never learned how to do meet people. I suppose I’m just meant to be a hermit.
Some things – or in my case, most things – never change. Still trying to figure out that question. It occupies a good deal of my thoughts. I cannot figure out why its considered selfish. Well, in certain circumstances I suppose – if you’re shirking obligations to others, but if you’re isolated and unattached? Dunno.
