The Journal of Prolix Footle

Last week, I was thinking of writing something charming and humorous – perhaps something like the day-in-the-life thing that morganaus suggested.

However, last Thursday ( changed all that… )

It has been suggested that I read the dictionary to you (you can thank lostdog). The problem is, which dictionary should I read? You see, I am a bit of a dictionary aficionado. I love obscure, archaic and underutilized verbiage. In fact, it’s due to a rather delightful dictionary that I initially stumbled upon LiveJournal…

Firstly, let me say that yes, I have actually read dictionaries before. For fun. If that doesn’t put me in the Geek pantheon somewhere, I don’t know what will.

I also collect dictionaries (I have an antique Funk and Wagnall’s that I inherited, a circa 1970’s Webster’s New Collegiate, as well as interesting gems like Forgotten English).

In addition to collecting physical dictionaries I also collect online dictionaries. I must have at least a score of them bookmarked at home, everything from Merriam Webster Online to The Klingon Dictionary. My favorite, however, remains the purview of the indomitable Dr. forthright: The Prontistery.

One of the first that I stumbled upon during my tenuous first steps into the wild and wooly world of the internet, it is chock-a-block with interesting words to satisfy the most ardent logophile. But it’s not only a dictionary. It also houses glossaries, lists, essays and, of more that passing interest to me, A Loquacious Location of Lipograms which includes an invitation to submit your own version of this stylized construct (which I did, of course, and which you can read here).

As I was wont to do lo those many years ago, I lurked, checking for updates and newly added definitions. Then one day I spotted a new link: the soon-to-be-doctor Forthright had acquired a LiveJournal!

And so I lurked some more (actually, checking the dates, It seems I lurked for an inordinate amount of time… over eight months!). During that time I was ‘introduced’ to all manner of interesting people: the cerebral f00dave and his gorgeous, belly-dancing spouse shanmonster, the captivating Mrs. Forthright (better known as curtana), the enchanting longpig, the ‘ultra-hoopy frood’ fearsclave. Finally, I gave in to temptation and in accordance with prophecy, sealed the doom of all humanity started my own journal.

From there the insanity spiraled out of control, until we arrive at what you see today. The insanity is directly attributable to certain other specific individuals, but I shan’t point any virtual fingers – at least not today…

OK, maybe just one: morganaus, instigator and model of friendfic slash.

All of which begs the original question: Which dictionary shall I read?