The Life and Times of Prolix Footle
Feb. 21st, 2003 03:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prolixfootleYou have entered a new dimension, a dimension where time is warped and meaningless, a dimension of never-ending tedium and monotony; you have entered – THE ENDLESS WORKWEEK. De-de-DE-de De-de-DE-de….
Thank you, yes, thanks very much and welcome to My Own Private Hell. As I may have mentioned, this is the week of our Corporate Vendor Show. Consequently, the office has been nearly empty since Tuesday, and will apparently remain so until Monday. I have just found out that the majority of people who were at the Show (which officially ended at noon today) are going directly home. Lucky sots. Ah well, at least the phones are quiet too. I guess I’ll take the opportunity to fill in some of the tedious background that you have all been clamoring for. And so…
Let’s see, where to start…
I am married, and have been, relatively happily, for eleven years this past Halloween (yes, we were married on 10/31, yes, she wore black, as did I. Yes her bouquet was black and red, it was quite the scandal and no one was surprised). We have no children, for witch we are profoundly grateful. That is mostly due to choice, but at least partly due also to necessity which cemented the choice fairly early on. I am also one of the few people you will ever find that will encourage others NOT to have children. It’s great not having them, and from what I can tell, a lot of people wish that they had made that decision after finding out, too late, what the alternative was. So, instead of children, we have animals. Lots of them. Don’t come to my house if you have allergies.
There are four dogs: Kaylar, Pugsly, Twinkles and the Bug. There are also six cats: Sneer, Mighty Osiris (who we call Mo); Miss Bast, Boy George, Squeek, and the B-Man. All in the house. We also have another six cats in the barn, which brings me to another revelation. We live on a farm. My parents currently own it, but it has been in the family for at least 150 years. Vegetarians beware! Do not read any farther!!
We raise registered Black Angus cattle. For those of you who haven’t heard, those are beef cattle. And ours are non-hormone injected, non-animal-byproduct fed, non-antibioticed food. All they get are corn and hay, and, although I am biased, they are TA-STY!
My darling wife and I take care of morning chores, which means I usually get up around 3:30 a.m. to feed the animals. At least we don’t have to milk. Recently, my brother and his wife, who also live on the farm, took over evening chores, which is great since our ‘day jobs’ have been increasingly demanding of our time. Fortunately, and sometimes unfortunately, both my darling wife and I work at the same company. She it a Supervisor in the Credit Department, and I work in the Benefits Department. And speaking of brothers, I have a total of three, all married and all younger than me. I also have two other sisters-in-law; my wife is the youngest of three girls. Rounding out the extended family would be my parent, and one parent-in-law.
Since we have no children, we are allowed the luxury of many and varied interests, some of which you can see if you check my user info. And our interests are always expanding (much like our waistlines, sadly).
Hmmm… I think that about wraps up the basic introduction. I’m sure that I’ve missed things, and will add other tidbits in the future. But that should give you a peek into the life of Prolix Footle. I go now to battle the Evil Operose Aeonian, and, hopefully, will vanquish it without undue effort. It shouldn’t take more than an hour. Wish me luck!
Thank you, yes, thanks very much and welcome to My Own Private Hell. As I may have mentioned, this is the week of our Corporate Vendor Show. Consequently, the office has been nearly empty since Tuesday, and will apparently remain so until Monday. I have just found out that the majority of people who were at the Show (which officially ended at noon today) are going directly home. Lucky sots. Ah well, at least the phones are quiet too. I guess I’ll take the opportunity to fill in some of the tedious background that you have all been clamoring for. And so…
Let’s see, where to start…
I am married, and have been, relatively happily, for eleven years this past Halloween (yes, we were married on 10/31, yes, she wore black, as did I. Yes her bouquet was black and red, it was quite the scandal and no one was surprised). We have no children, for witch we are profoundly grateful. That is mostly due to choice, but at least partly due also to necessity which cemented the choice fairly early on. I am also one of the few people you will ever find that will encourage others NOT to have children. It’s great not having them, and from what I can tell, a lot of people wish that they had made that decision after finding out, too late, what the alternative was. So, instead of children, we have animals. Lots of them. Don’t come to my house if you have allergies.
There are four dogs: Kaylar, Pugsly, Twinkles and the Bug. There are also six cats: Sneer, Mighty Osiris (who we call Mo); Miss Bast, Boy George, Squeek, and the B-Man. All in the house. We also have another six cats in the barn, which brings me to another revelation. We live on a farm. My parents currently own it, but it has been in the family for at least 150 years. Vegetarians beware! Do not read any farther!!
We raise registered Black Angus cattle. For those of you who haven’t heard, those are beef cattle. And ours are non-hormone injected, non-animal-byproduct fed, non-antibioticed food. All they get are corn and hay, and, although I am biased, they are TA-STY!
My darling wife and I take care of morning chores, which means I usually get up around 3:30 a.m. to feed the animals. At least we don’t have to milk. Recently, my brother and his wife, who also live on the farm, took over evening chores, which is great since our ‘day jobs’ have been increasingly demanding of our time. Fortunately, and sometimes unfortunately, both my darling wife and I work at the same company. She it a Supervisor in the Credit Department, and I work in the Benefits Department. And speaking of brothers, I have a total of three, all married and all younger than me. I also have two other sisters-in-law; my wife is the youngest of three girls. Rounding out the extended family would be my parent, and one parent-in-law.
Since we have no children, we are allowed the luxury of many and varied interests, some of which you can see if you check my user info. And our interests are always expanding (much like our waistlines, sadly).
Hmmm… I think that about wraps up the basic introduction. I’m sure that I’ve missed things, and will add other tidbits in the future. But that should give you a peek into the life of Prolix Footle. I go now to battle the Evil Operose Aeonian, and, hopefully, will vanquish it without undue effort. It shouldn’t take more than an hour. Wish me luck!
