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I gather you've had depression issues too? - [livejournal.com profile] fearsclave, Ultra-Hoopy Frood

Wellll…ummm...OK, since you asked. The short answer is yes. But like most short answers, there is a significantly longer explanation attached. So for those interested: the mental state of the Jester Primus )

Any other questions?
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My life occasionally seems to be ruled by a series of odd coincidences. Odd elements from dreams crop up the next day, an episode of a television show parallels something at work, an article I’ve read proves mysteriously relevant to what’s going on in my life. For example: a while ago, I went online at work and when the home page came up, one of its features that day was a depression test which I printed out and took, with predictable results. Later that same day I was reading an entry in [livejournal.com profile] fearsclave’s Journal (about which I had been lurking) in which be made an offhand comment about anti-depressants. I figured that if such a hoopy frood could need help, maybe I should look into the option as well. I guess you could say that he was part of my inspiration. An erudite, well-spoken gentleman with a penchant for fly-fishing (well, all heroes need a tragic flaw, right?) and depression? Thing might not be as bad as I thought.

Anyway, another one occurred today. It actually started yesterday, when I went to see Dr. Depression, my psychiatrist. He decided, based on the reactions I was having to the Effexor, to augment it with Wellbutrin (actually, its generic equivalent, thanks to my insurance company’s prescription plan) and Ambian as needed for the insomnia. Well it seems that [livejournal.com profile] fearsclave has been down a similar road, only with the Wellbutrin as the primary med, and with good results. So congratulations to [livejournal.com profile] fearsclave! I hope I can follow your example.

On a related note, I think the medication is causing me to dream more vividly than usual. I have had extremely vivid dreams for the past week (one of which started the conversation referred to below). I am going to have to put a pad and pencil by the bed so I can right them down, because they become hazy by morning.

Elsewhere in the LJ community, I fear that the Divine Mr. [livejournal.com profile] f00dave may have gotten a bit exasperated with me during our VR conversation. My apologies, f00. I really didn’t mean to get your dander up (although I did enjoy the conversation immensely).

In other news, my mother is home and doing well. Her pancreatic cyst turned out to be just that: a cyst. No cancer, so that’s a relief. Work is still hectic, but what else is new? Happily, my copy of the unabridged The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy audiobook arrived, along with a couple of other cd’s including the import beautiful by Blondie.

And now the B-man (our youngest cat) is walking on my keyboard demanding attention, so I’d best stop and post before he accidentally deletes my entry…

Working...

Mar. 5th, 2003 05:02 pm
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Well, I am still free to wander amongst the general populace. The diagnosis of medication was spot on. So, now I wait for the miraculous, chemically-induced euphoria. I hope it kicks in soon…

On a totally unrelated note, it is amazing how adults become fascinated by children’s toys. A coworker, Miss L., decided that I needed some cheering up, and so gave me the toy from her Happy Meal. It was a fairly clever building set based on a current animated movie. I put it together and displayed it on a file cabinet next to my desk. I have since collected four more of the sets, and now have a sizable ‘village’ going. The amazing thing is that my coworkers have begun expanding the tableau by adding people (who are currently being mauled by the animals that came with the sets), vehicles and various other accoutrements to make the display even more exciting. All this attention had caused another coworker’s good natured ire, as she was formerly the leader in unusual desk accessories, having a rather large ‘Zen’ garden featuring a graveyard, anti-work slogans, and various monsters form another recent animated feature. Such are the intricacies of inter-office politics.
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... I can sew. I needed some window coverings for my office, so I went out , bought some upholstery fabric and tension rods, took them home and created myself some blinds. Originally I wanted full Roman blinds, bit then I decided that full blinds weren’t necessary, do I made stationary half-blinds. The still let in some light, but prohibit peepers. And they don’t look half bad, either.

In addition news, tomorrow starts the ‘evaluation’. That’s right, visit #1. If it doesn’t go well, I don’t know where I’ll end up, as they closed the local nuthouse several years ago. I’m guessing, if anything, they’ll go the chemical rout. Artificially induced euphoria, here I come!!
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