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prolixfootleI gather you've had depression issues too? - ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fearsclave, Ultra-Hoopy Frood
Wellll…ummm...OK, since you asked. The short answer is yes. But like most short answers, there is a significantly longer explanation attached. So for those interested:
It seems that, from facts uncovered in recent investigations, I have probably suffered from what is termed ‘Clinical Depression’ for quite some time. Between ten and twenty years, in fact. But because (and I swear this is exactly what the psychologist said) I ‘present well’, (meaning that I can hide my true feelings very well and also function well despite the depression, and that people who know me wouldn’t notice anything wrong or different), it wasn’t recognized. Add to that the fact that I’ve always believed (and still, to some extent, believe) that people should deal with their problems themselves, and that I am not a particularly loquacious person, especially when it comes to what I feel (I have *immense* difficulty relating personal things. I tend to avoid those types of conversations like the plague or turn on the Jester Primus and turn it into a farce. Even writing this post is tough for me), and you can start to see why it went on so long.
*SO*… over the years, especially these last few, the problem became steadily worse. I lost interest in just about everything: reading, drawing, gardening, gaming, cooking, the whole lot. All I wanted to do, basically, was sleep and eat, which, by the way, is a *really* bad combo. It was all I could do to drag myself out of bed and into work. It was causing difficulties at home, obviously, because I never had the energy or will to do anything. It got really bad around the first of the year. *Extremely* bad. “I was just wondering, where’s that really sharp kitchen knife” bad. As I said in my earlier post, it was about a month later that I saw the test and read you journal. What I didn’t mention was the ‘shape-up-or-ship-out’ speech from my darling wife. So off the doctor I went. A couple of tests, a couple of conversations and *hey, presto* the Jester’s on meds! It’s only been about a month on the Effexor, and the Wellbutrin started yesterday, so I’m still in kind of an adjustment phase, but I can tell a bit difference. So, we’ll see. I’m not exactly at the “My future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades” point, and doubt I ever will be, but things do seem to be improving.
Any other questions?
fearsclave, Ultra-Hoopy FroodWellll…ummm...OK, since you asked. The short answer is yes. But like most short answers, there is a significantly longer explanation attached. So for those interested:
It seems that, from facts uncovered in recent investigations, I have probably suffered from what is termed ‘Clinical Depression’ for quite some time. Between ten and twenty years, in fact. But because (and I swear this is exactly what the psychologist said) I ‘present well’, (meaning that I can hide my true feelings very well and also function well despite the depression, and that people who know me wouldn’t notice anything wrong or different), it wasn’t recognized. Add to that the fact that I’ve always believed (and still, to some extent, believe) that people should deal with their problems themselves, and that I am not a particularly loquacious person, especially when it comes to what I feel (I have *immense* difficulty relating personal things. I tend to avoid those types of conversations like the plague or turn on the Jester Primus and turn it into a farce. Even writing this post is tough for me), and you can start to see why it went on so long.
*SO*… over the years, especially these last few, the problem became steadily worse. I lost interest in just about everything: reading, drawing, gardening, gaming, cooking, the whole lot. All I wanted to do, basically, was sleep and eat, which, by the way, is a *really* bad combo. It was all I could do to drag myself out of bed and into work. It was causing difficulties at home, obviously, because I never had the energy or will to do anything. It got really bad around the first of the year. *Extremely* bad. “I was just wondering, where’s that really sharp kitchen knife” bad. As I said in my earlier post, it was about a month later that I saw the test and read you journal. What I didn’t mention was the ‘shape-up-or-ship-out’ speech from my darling wife. So off the doctor I went. A couple of tests, a couple of conversations and *hey, presto* the Jester’s on meds! It’s only been about a month on the Effexor, and the Wellbutrin started yesterday, so I’m still in kind of an adjustment phase, but I can tell a bit difference. So, we’ll see. I’m not exactly at the “My future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades” point, and doubt I ever will be, but things do seem to be improving.
Any other questions?
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Posting from work...
Date: 2003-04-07 03:33 pm (UTC)I sincerely hope that your Wellbutrin experience paralells mine; back during the big depression, when combined with with a bit of cognitive and behavioural therapy and regular exercise, it flat-out changed my life; turned my mood around 180 degrees. After a couple of months, I was feeling a lot better, and was able to go off the Wellbutrin, feeling like a million bucks, in about nine months or so (which was far too soon, my current shrink tells me). The stuff kicks all known forms of antidepressant ass; I would seriously rank it up there with penicillin and the Pill. You may need dark glasses when contemplating your future, and quite soon at that.
My current depression is much milder (manifested mostly as loss of enjoyment of many things, feeling generally, well, depressed, and nausea and vomiting every workday morning). My cardiologist prescribed a tiny dose for me, and my current shrink ramped it up to a medium-small dose. At that level, and combined with semi-regular exercise, it is flat-out destroying my depression at an alarming rate. Think column of tanks running over small dog levels of destruction. Game plan is to stay on it for a few years; apparently continuing it in the medium after the depression is technically cured tends to prevent recurrences in the long term.
So you seeing me mention the depression and Wellbutrin in my LJ actually induced you to look into yours? If so, I'm glad that my LJ has served for something other than just plain old navel-gazing and exhibitionism. If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been reading it, and how did you come across it?
Elementary my dear Fearsclave!
Date: 2003-04-07 05:01 pm (UTC)As to the other, I can answer both with a single word: Forthright. I, for reasons unknown, find archaic verbiage fascinating. It was in the course of ‘researching’ that I came across the Phrontistery, from there to his newly created Live Journal, and onward to your Journal. So, I’ve been reading your journal, and indeed, all of his friends’ journals, since he created his. In fact, I was lurking well before I created my own Journal. Hope you don’t mind ;)
Re: Elementary my dear Fearsclave!
Date: 2003-04-07 08:40 pm (UTC)